Mosaic Mom

Yesterday a TV crew came by and filmed Plant Daddy over at his place of work!!!
We will let you know when that is going to air!
Ice Road Horticulturists!!!!

Here is the next make over project ala TV.
Now that Little Mind Escape has her own apartment, we can change this from a canopy bed to a day bed!

Caveat!Things are always easier on TV than in person.

I was on the phone with my Aunt today and we were talking about cats when Zeus dashed across the patio as if a pack of coyotes were chasing him!

"What got into that cat?" I exclaimed.

After our chat, I checked and saw that this tree, damaged by Hurricaine Jeanne, had finally come on down.

I guess that's what motivated the Zeus.

Too much salt in the Doritos I ate last night, therefore, I’m on a little rant today…
First up…SAMA

The Society of American Mosaic Artists sent me a little email yesterday saying they “miss me” and won’t I please renew my membership. Here’s why I won’t…

1.Sama changed its mission statement. Instead of being a group of people who enjoy mosaic art and promote mosaic art, they now define their holy selves as a group open to “FINE ART” mosaic artists. I guess that leaves me out. It sure makes me feel “less than” and I don’t hang out with people who make me feel less than.

2. What I really wanted in my membership package was to exhibit my work in the SAMA Members Gallery. The “FINE ART” holy selves apparently did not want to show my dolls. It took 2 months of emailing back and forth to get that photo uploaded per my perk. I got 10 months benefits for 12 months payment. Hmmm.

3. Last year the membership rates went UP.

4.They included nothing in the convention workshops in Miami that I wanted.

Bottom Line…people vote with their feet and with their pocketbooks! Bye!


Next up…My doctor

The man rants and raves against patients who go on the internet to get health care information. But last time I asked him about my thyroid numbers he would only say that they were normal.
He wouldn’t even give me a number until I ranted and raved.

Then I asked why it was so high, why the number had gone up, and what I could to improve my energy so I could run an exercise program. His answer…

“It’s normal for your age.”

My answer? That’s not good enough!

So…I was in the checkout line at Publix and the magazine headline says
“Oprah’s Thyroid Diet”.

I bought it and immediately started the vitamin regime…
(I had a little trouble with the diet part… Hey it’s strawberry shortcake season, I’m a victim!)
…anyway, just with the vitamin regimen I have energy through the roof.

Pick up your copy today! And BTW, I am going to treat myself to an appointment with an endocrinologist this summer.


Finally…the environment

“Artville” is about to develop a mall ala Winter Park Village. Trees will be bulldozed and a vast expanse of open space will be paved over. My question is…Where do you people think your oxygen comes from?

I’m done now.

Well, no I’m not, but it’s time to stop.

Bently: “What are you doing here, Bucky?”

Bucky: “Hi, Bently! I just dropped in because Brewster was parked here.”

Brewster: “I thought I smelled something yummy!”

Bently: “You meathead. The dead possum is across the road 300 feet north of here.”

Brewster: “But there’s lots of cars. I’m scared.”

Bucky: “I’m hungry.”

Bently: “Look, we’ll loft again then drop in on the carrion from west to east. That way we can avoid the traffic and the power lines.”

Brewster: “I’m scared.”

Bently: “Last one in is a rotten raccoon.”

Bucky: “ I’m in. Let’s go!”

This is what I made in collage class.
It's not good.
"Bad Art! Sit! Lie Down! Roll over! Play Dead!"

I DID however learn the concept of "design space" and how to "activate" it.

And my classmates weren't cruel to me. They are probably laughing at me...but you know, it's justifiable. I need to stick to garden art mosaics.
Nuf said.

Plant Daddy is not on it...so I will be the one to tell you the news.
I just went to the Post Office to send off another plant patent! Yay! I cannot show you a photo yet, but Wow! you'll love it when it comes out!
I like to had a stroke when I got the lawyer bill, but it's an investment, I guess.

Then I went to the Doctors office to pay my bill and like to had a stroke! It costs a bundle for treating minor stuff. Grrr.

Then I got gas and like to had a stroke! It costs a bundle for 10 gallons!

Then I went to Dollar General and got spaghetti sauce and came home and had pasta for lunch.

Then I sprayed bug spray all around causa I fired the pest service cause they raised their bill to the point where I had a stroke over it! So I did it myself and a dying wasp stung the beerjeebers out of me, but I can't afford the doctor to look at it causa...

Then I chased Blackie off the patio. He was the one having apoplexy this time.
Then Plant Daddy came home and I washed his shrimpy smelling clothes and cooked a chicken dinner causa he didn't catch much.

Then I planted 3 Zucchinis and 3 yellow squash and a tomatoe plant cause the prices at Publix...well you get the idea....

I have kept this Philodendron oxycardium in this jar for 45 years.

True.

Use the word "Philodendron" In a 100 word story....

Carla caressed the emerald, shimmering leaf on a vine gracing the patio of the Tahiti Lounge. When the white-jacketed waiter served her pink, paper-parasoled rum, she smiled seductively, then shut her eyes against the orange-hot sun.

“Get back to work!” the boss bellowed.

Carla blinked awake to her cubicle with ash walls and charcoal carpet. Only the green Philodendron edging across the silver desk broke the grayscape and offered relief from harsh reality of February in Milwaukee. She punched the stainless steel dialer and squeaked into the headset, “Hello? Homeowner? Representatives for Water Filter Systems will be in your neighborhood…”

That was one of the most unusual tracker search requests I've ever seen, but here goes...

Using Philodendron in a sentence...

It has been ages since I've seen a specimen of Philodendron panduriforme.

I was going to trot out to the bank and post office, but then I rememberd they're closed today.
"Oh well, " says I. "at least I won't have to try to beat the storm."

Good thing I was here, hunkered down.
The (significant) wind took the roof off one of thr greenhouses.

When the breeze dies down a little and the rain dries up, Plant Daddy and I will go cut the shreds off...and wonder how we are going to afford a new roof.

It's always something.

The oak trees are blooming and the pollen is thick, thick, thick. Makes my eyes and throat burn.

Todays chores are to do the laundry and to go to Publix because (gasp!) we're out of Meow Mix!
And maybe I'll get Plant Daddy some sausages while I'm there, too.

I bought a pre-stretched canvas at Michael's yesterday so I can be like my classmates in art class and compose my collage on a canvas instead of paper backing.

That's about it for today. Peaceful is good.

Haven't had a Dillard's fix since before Christmas, so I went today.
Met up with Little Mind Escape. Her job was to keep me from falling victim to the colors Spring green and Pink...so prevalent this season.

I almost fell for a pair of pink pajamas for $28.00 then I realized they meant $28 EACH PIECE. I ain't wearing no $56. PJ's!
All I managed to get was socks and undies. Sad.
Had a great lunch at Olive Garden ...nice chat with the kidlet!

I got sick and tired of the squirrels eating all the bird seed, so I ordered a Coyote Decoy.

I tried to convince Plant Daddy that the decoy was a Valentine’s Day gift for him, but he wasn’t buying any of that!

He knew the minute he opened the box that I was escalating in the rodent arms race.

Look at Zeus’ fluffy tail!
Good boy Zeus! Now we know it will work against squirrels…or was Zeus reacting to the price I paid, including shipping and handling.

The decoy makers are laughing all the way to the bank, I suspect.

On my way to art class yesterday, I recycled my aluminum cans.
8 pounds at .45 cents per pound…$3.60 Wow!

Next stop was the swimming pool supply store. We needed a new plastic doo-dad for the chlorinator thingy. It was $5.00…so in all I was only down by $1.40. Yay!

Then I hit Walgreen’s for Valentines Day cheer.
I got a really cute card for Plant Daddy, and some M&M’s to pack with today’s lunch in the Tupperware.
Then I spied it!…The Perfect Plant Daddy gift.

I got him a giant chocolate fish.

It’s in a box that says “You’re a great catch”!
Don’t ya love it?

Meanwhile PD was at the Winn Dixie getting me a pot of gorgeous fragrant blue hyacinths.
Awwww, sweet harbingers of spring even if we had frost last night…Grrrr.

In art class, I painted a black and white values chart. Then I used stamps to show symmetrical and assymetrical composition. That was pretty boring, yet the teacher said I got it wrong because a stamp on side A always had to have an equivalent on side B. Oh well.

Then she started me on a collage. I cut out a photo of a dog head and set it down with some string. It reminds me of a dog I used to know named “Ginger”. Ginger always stank. And always wanted to rub onto your pants so you could stink too.

Yeah and my collage stinks too.

Tonight is writers group. I really, really hope this new location works out.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Got an email the other day inviting me to drive to Coral Gables for lunch and the opportunity to stuff give-away bags for the SAMA Convention.
That'd be great if I were going to attend SAMA in Miami.
The admission is too high and there are no workshops I'd like to participate in. Sad.

Tracker reports much interest in how to make mosaic shoes.
I tried to instruct a couple of students on that once.
They didn't want to go step by step to do the prep work.
Mosaic shoe is 90% prep work! Duh!

I will haul the mosaic teapot project into art class tomorrow for some design assistance. Maybe I ought to get a strawberry jar too on my way to the accountants today to get the next tax package under way!

Florida is a commodity, not a community.

Most neighborhoods turn over within 5 years.
(If you move in to a “community” today and meet 10 neighbors, in 5 years, if you stay, you will have 9 new neighbors.)
Nobody stays put, or puts down roots, or invests beyond daily subsistence.

And in my neck of the woods (what am I saying? There are no woods here…the developers bulldoze them flat to make housing and big boxes.) anyway…in my neck of the woods, people only live here from October till March.

Then they migrate like great fat buffalo herds back to “Back Home”. See what I mean? They never call Florida “home”. They always keep their hearts somewhere else.

I am always so happy to see them go away.

Because stable communities are few and far between, it is very rare that I encounter anyone I know when I go shopping. But yesterday I did! I was so excited!

At the Home Depot, I ran into Jim Y. He is the mayor of art community town, but I know him from when he ran a garden shop and bought plants from our nursery. I hadn’t seen him in 15 years! Wow! We have mutual friends who work mosaics and perhaps we will all play a role in the public art campaign over in art town in the near future.

At the Target, I ran into Carla G.
She got married! Yay!
She quit her library job! Double Yay!
She was buying shoes to go on a job interview this morning. Way to go!
She will do well where ever she lights!



I got a random phone call from a woman thumbing through the yellow pages this morning,

“Do you sell azaleas?”
“No.”
“Why doesn’t anyone have them? Back home they are so beautiful!” she insisted with a whine.

What I wanted to say, “ Lady there’s a drought on and they’re a high water usage plant. They are extremely subject to attack by mites and lace-wing insects so they require a great deal of chemicals. If it’s a cool spring, you might get flowers for 10 days, but this spring, it’s been 87 degrees in February so if you get 3 days of flowers in that kind of heat, you’ll be damn lucky. The pH of the sandy soil next to your new construction house is likely near 7.5 and azaleas require a highly organic soil with a pH around 5”

What I said “Good luck. Hope you find them.”
Why argue with somebody who won’t even be here in April?

Plant Daddy and I spent 6 hours HERE yesterday.

We planted the rain lilies in the border.
(I dug and planted; he closed and watered)
We trimmed up the palm trees
(He cut,using Z shop tools; I cleared, piling branches onto the tractor for removal)
We fought off danger
(I got bit by killer ants; he got a poke in the eye with a sharp stick)

We freed Willie...
See the plant inside the screen room?
It should be 40 ft tall but I have kept it as a bonsai for 9 years in a pot 8" deep. We are putting it in a pot 16" deep.
Plant Daddy did the heavy lifting; I did the repotting and watering in)

We are a team.
We are the Two Little Gardeners!

I just found out that the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi died on Thursday. He was 91.
I feel old.
Om.

The new art book is great. I read the whole thing yesterday.
I tossed and turned and couldn't get to sleep thinking about all the mosaics I will design.

Today however, reality sets in. I have to organize the personal tax information so it can go to the accountant on Monday.
I have to iron some clothes so Plant Daddy won't be nekkid on Monday.
I have to go to Publix, etc...on Monday.

A very wise lady once taught me that doing chores first is a high spiritual calling. It really is, you know. It creates order and calm and that serenity allows creativity to grow. Chaos makes frenzy not peace.

Om, ya'll.

In this strip of photos, see where it says DESIGN?
That's the cover of the art book I just got.
Now I can read and study and improve my art.

It's a miracle. I finally got an order from Amazon.com. The last 4 orders ended after 21 days, a refund and no book. I was really happy to get my order.

I thumbed through the book and the first page that fell open was a painting by Gary Bolding. It was "Elvis Mandala". I'm a Beatles chick. Is that a bad sign?

Today I also started writing a story based on my time living at the hippie commune...Oooooo!
And do I think I can get that printed in a gardening magazine? Well, maybe...

Yes, today's letter is "E".

As in...Eveready batteries.

Use in a sentence: If your Evereadies give out at 3:00AM, your Smoke Alarm will sound.
EEEEEEEEk!

Today’s blog is brought to you by the letter D.

D is for Dirigible.

Dirigible…a balloon that can be steered, especially a long, cigar-shaped, motor driven balloon with a cabin underneath.

Hmmm…dirge and dirigible are right next to each other in the dictionary listings. Is that an indication of risk?

Use in a sentence: When you walk to your mailbox to post bills, if you look skywards, you might see a dirigible.

Illustration:

Just like Sesame Street, today is brought to you by the letter C.
My life today is...

Clean the Kitchen
Write Checks
Collect the stuff for taxes...and
Check the garden for water.

That's a full day...and yes, for dinner tonight, I am already boiling beans to make a pot of Chili!

Yay!

This is a photo of last year's sugar pod peas. This year's crop is about 10 inches high. The warm weather expected this week will bring them on up the trellis fast, tho!
They are so delicious in a stir fry!

Meanwhile I have learned a valuable lesson...if the word "Italian" is in the name of a vegelable, it is a SUMMER vegetable.
I tried Italian Roma tomatoes and Italian ploe beans as a winter crop. The weather has been mild, yet not warm enough. FAILURE! Lesson learned.

The last day of January was a very full day...as if everything were crowding onto the calendar at once.

My Mom's minor surgery had complications and she was rushed back to the E.R.

My Uncle injured his knee and had to be rushed to the doctor. He will go to the hospital for x-rays today.

My cousin wrecked her truck and wound up in the hospital.

It all comes around at once...meanwhile...

I had an article accepted for publication on philodendron breeding. It was a chance to show off my 46 year old terrarium!

In all, the day was hectic but OK. A hefty shot of Maker's Mark ensured a good night's rest. Plant Daddy was up and at 'em to go fishing this morning, too.