Mosaic Mom

Plant Daddy has spent all weekend in the z-shop primping and preening. The Z-Car Show starts tomorrow and he is showing off his creation.
He built this car from the frame up!
He calls it "The Green Bean"
Who'd'a thought it!
We are very proud of him and hope he wins a trophy!

We’ve had a little rain lately and the mushrooms abound.
I’ve always found mushrooms beautiful and fascinating, but my skill as a mycologist is limited.

I can tell an Ascomycete from a Basidiomycete from a Myxomycete…and that’s about it.

In general, eating a Basidiomycete will not kill you, but it may make you wish for death as you lie writhing on the bathroom floor.

Ascomycetes can kill. One variety of them is called Amanita and is more toxic than Temik, a banned commercial pesticide. I think Amanita grows out in the yard. But since I am not sure who is who, I leave all the little mushrooms alone.

Once upon a time in college someone brought some Psilocybe to a party. We ate it sliced on a tomato sandwich with Miracle Whip. I do not remember the “trip” but I remember the diarrhea. Major diarrhea! I learned never to do that again!

In grad school, our professor of mycology (the one with the see-through white slacks and no undiewears) took the class on a collecting trip. He told us it was safe to eat a particular shelf fungus that we had knocked out of a tree. Indeed, it was tasty sautéed with butter…until the major diarrhea set in! I learned never to do that again.

At the conclusion of my job interview at the Ralston Purina mushroom farm, the General Manager offered me a brown paper sack stuffed full of Agaricus.
“No thanks,” I said.
Five minute out the door I realized how rude and stupid that was and major diarrhea set in. I got the job but I learned never to do that again.

Plant Daddy and I went for a walk around the pasture last night. (The golf cart is broken. Waiting for a part to be delivered)

While watching the neighbor's cows, we saw 2 coyotes.

This was a first. We've seen both animals separately, but here they were together!
Awesome and frightening.

I used to feel I could fight off a coyote pack attack. Now, I don't think I could.
That's wild Florida, ya'll.

Two Coyotes out for a hunt.
Lock up the cat.

While the mosaics set-up, I'll run errands today.

Here's the list...

Post Office
Pack N Ship
Art Supply Store
Office Max
Lowe's

I have to make a stop at Dollar Tree for Dice. I am working "Lucky 7" Mosaic Birdhouse, but I have run out of dice!

and last stop...
(Oh No!) DENTIST

Oh No!
A tropical storm …with an ominous name!

Will this be “the big one”?
(It would serve me right, wouldn’t it?)

Anyway, I am shipping birthday booty to my sister dear tomorrow…storm or not! The package is in the UPS!

I have a friend who breeds shit-zu dogs. She loves her little doggies, but let’s get real about this. She has a great eye as a dog breeder. Her little doggies are coveted all over the world and sell for $2000 to $4000 each.

I once owned a Petite Basset Griffon Vendeen. It cost $100 per word.
I thought THAT was pricey, much less $3000 for a Shit-Zu.

Today as I was chopping salad for supper, I read the newspaper advertisements upon which the carrot tops were falling…

Petland is offering PAYMENT PLANS to buy doggies now.

I just want to say…”If you have to get FINANCING to buy a pet, you are in WAY OVER YOUR HEAD!”

Aw, Shit---ZU!


This pet is free! And PRICELESS!

Here's a look at the Mosaic Studio all set up for class!

Great Big Mosaics Class

If you’ve been waiting to create a large mosaic piece…
Bowling Ball
Stepping Stone
Bird Bath
Sculpture
Flower Pot

Here’s the class for you!

Monday Night Mosaics

October 1,8,15,22 and 29

6:30 to 8:30 PM


You bring the object to mosaic…… I supply the tools, tiles, mortar, grout and sealer


You can leave the project at the studio….No heavy, weekly lugging!


Cost: You supply the base plus $100 for 5 weeks instruction, studio time, and materials.


Where: Mosaic Mom’s Mosaic Studio
In Tavares
e-mail to mosaicmom@hotmail.com for registration and driving directions

Limited to 8 students. Register soon!

I don’t know for sure how I hurt my back this week.

Maybe it was Wednesday when I was doing my stretching exercises…and went a little too far.

Maybe it was Thursday over at the art room stacking cans of paint onto shelves over my head.

Maybe it was Friday when I stood in the Publix and looked at the price of Zucchini at $1.99 a pound and screeched. “Not in my world!”

So today, despite great agony…isn’t back pain actually funny when you find you can’t bend over and simultaneously lift your leg to get your undiewears pulled on in the morning? ANYWAY…I went to Lowe’s to start the Fall Garden!

I bought 5 Zucchini’s and passed on the Eggplant causa it had mites! The broccoli looked good, but I can’t eat that due to thyroid interference these days. (The isothiocyanates in Cruciferae seem to depress absorption of Synthroid…which is a fancy way of saying I can’t get off the couch if I eat Broccoli or Cauliflower) ANYWAY…

I planted my 5 store bought Zucchini and 5 tomatoes I had homegrown and for good measure, a large circle of Green Beans.

Plant Daddy had installed 4 or 5 cucumbers earlier in the week, and the new batch of Okra is blooming now, so we’re in pretty good shape. Garden wise anyway.

I like having pest control.

Decades ago, when Plant Daddy and I were just starting out, we had the mother of all cockroach problems. Regular pest service over the years has kept the little critters in check.

Or at least a line of demarcation...anyway...

The latest pest service just jacked up the price to a point at which I fell to the floor, legs up and twitching. So I cancelled the service.

This means that every Equinox I must change the air filter and spray for cockroaches myself. We'll see how it goes.

Here's the hard working kids in art class.
They're making clay flower pots.
I'll supply the Coleus when the pots are ready.
Then we'll set about to beautify campus.

Here's a new Blogger.

Go have a look at Terri's Path

Today I go over to the Art Club meeting with sodas and cookies. I wonder if the front door access to the school is still CHAINED?


Tomorrow is the Equinox. For many this is some religious event.
For me it means, change the air conditioner filter!


Yesterday I got 5 tomatoes planted...just in time for some good gentle rain we had! Yay! Fresh veggies on the way!

Ah, the joys of summer of my youth…

Every day from Memorial Day until Labor Day,

From 1959 through 1968

I’d get dropped off at the swimming pool

at 8:30 AM and get picked up at 5:00PM.

I’d spend all day in the sun…smathered with Coppertone or Sea & Ski…tanning lotion.
The deeper the tan the better.

There was no such thing as sun block back then

But wait! There’s more…

Every spring break in March or April during that same time frame, the family would vacation at Panama City Beach.

That right of passage might well be called “The Red Badge of Courage”.

I’d sunburn so badly that I’d turn blue-ish red and have chills and vomiting. Dad would give me an aspirin and say “Carry on!” as we’d joyously paddle our plastic floats into the Gulf of Mexico!

These days I have a pile of happy memories of these summers

and a bill today for about $294 to the dermatologist for slicing off a chunk of a blackish blob growing behind my right elbow.

Einy Meany Miny Mo
Is it cancer (again)
I’ll let you know!

One student showed up at THS for Community Ed "Basic Mosaics" class.

I don't know how she found her way across campus...the front entrance of the school and access to the art room ...is chained and padlocked!

To get refreshments to the art club students, I had to hike up and down a flight of stairs and ask an administrator to let me in. She did then immediately locked me inside. If I wanted another trip to my car, I'd have had to call the office to be let out or walk completely around three buildings and across a bus pick-up lot.

Bottom line, I could not carry mosaic supplies that far for a class! Thank goodness we didn't meet minimum enrollment!

I gave the lady who did show up directions to my studio for the Big Mosaics Class.

Early last Sunday morning, one of the Z Boys (Plant Daddy’s Car Restoration Buddies) pulled into the farm and left the front gate wide open.

Plant Daddy was off at the beach fishing, therefore no one was out and about to keep an eye on the property.

I had to get dressed and go close the gate and reprimand the Z boy.

The Z boy looked perplexed as I brought him up to speed on gate protocol. I realized he thought of this farm as a pleasant, serene country setting where no crime could occur. To which I said, “Look, Z Boy, here’s the list…”

I’ve had knives pulled on me twice.

We’ve been burglarized 3 times.

We’ve had trash dumping three times.

We’ve had pet dumping. (A lady just 3 weeks ago was getting hostile because I wouldn’t let her put her horses on my pasture!)

We have people who drive in just to look around.

We have people who drive in trying to get to Bland’s lake to fish.

One guy wanted permission to come practice shooting here.

Once around 7PM, two fellows pulled a jalopy car into our driveway under our security light, popped up the hood and began to disassemble the motor. They then phoned a friend who came to retrieve them…but not their car.

We get Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses and Baptists.
And what’s even worse…real estate agents.

Our mailbox gets smashed each year at Halloween and Graduation.

Our important mail goes to a PO Box, but 2 years ago that Postmistress was held up at gunpoint.

We used to get a lot of folks stopping to tell us our cows were out. They did not want to hear that we do not have cows and don’t care. So we just started saying, “Yes, we’ll get right on that!” and they’d go away happy.

So bottom line…THE GATE IS ALWAYS CLOSED AND LOCKED.



I was just remembering a couple other odd ones…

The man who went ballistic…BALISTIC…because he wanted to cut my pasture for sod and I said no. Apparently he was a landscaper who had won a bid at a very low price to supply sod for a school landscape. He was extraordinarily stressed and went over the edge when a dumpy country lady told him no.

There was a movie location scout who wanted to shoot a commercial in our field. He liked the location because there would be no utility wires in the scene. I probably would have said OK to a cameraman and an actress, but this guy wanted to bring in production trailers!

Then there were the two men who showed up, climbed over the fence and began digging up persimmon trees to take to the flea market to sell! Gotta love that.

Lock the gate!

This isn't a mosaic, but it's a quick and easy project for kids.

1. Paint a clean, dry terracotta flower pot with chalk board paint. Do not seal the terracotta before you paint or the chalk board materials will curdle.

2. Paint the chalkboard paint inside and outside on the pot.

3. When dry, draw your design with colored chalks!

Great Big Mosaics Class

If you’ve been waiting to create a large mosaic piece…Here’s the class for you!

Bowling Ball
Stepping Stone
Bird Bath
Sculpture
Flower Pot
Strawberry Jar



Monday Night Mosaics

October 1,8,15,22 and 29

6:30 to 8:30 PM


You bring the object to mosaic…… I supply the tools, tiles, mortar, grout and sealer


You can leave the project at the studio….No heavy, weekly lugging!


Cost: You supply the base plus $100 for 5 weeks instruction, studio time, and materials.


Where: Mosaic Mom’s Mosaic Studio
In Tavares
e-mail to mosaicmom@hotmail.com for registration and driving directions

Limited to 8 students. Register soon!

Looking forward to seeing you here!

Mom went shopping today to get mosaic supplies for the upcoming classes.

Michael's and
JoAnn's and
Bed Bath and Beyond

"What does Bed Bath and Beyond have to do with mosaics class, Mom?"
"Hush before Plant Daddy hears you!"

and Bombay Imported Furniture and cute lamps and
World Market really cute baskets and
Burger King...

Your pants aren't going to fit Mom!
Plant Daddy is going to take my charge card away! This time fer sher!

Einy, Meany, Miney, Mo.
Has I got a class? Yes or No?

I haven't heard from Community Education HQ as to whether the Beginners class made minimum enrollment. Hope they call tomorrow...cause I'll need to buy supplies!

Anyway...I started construction on "Lucky 7" Birdhouse.Don't you love it already?

Mosaic Shoe progress is going SLOW...The Bisazza, she donna wanna go into the tight curve ova de heel. Grrr!

This Mosaic Space Ship has survived 3 or 4 years now out in the yard. It's a fun whimsical piece of folk art.

Hey...I never thought I'd be a folk artist!

Anyway, today is a bank. post office, pharmacy, Publix run day so I'd better hit the road! I need a space ship to carry me on the rounds today don't I?

How many decades has it been now?
I go shopping every Saturday.

Today I was in search of shorts. Looking for end of the season sales!
Went to Lake Square Mall

Penneys had already cleared out the summer stuff.

Belks looked like a hoard of barbarians had been through the sales floor. Honestly, their restroom was tidier than their ladies sportswear department!

Tried Sears and struck pay dirt! Two pairs of shorts for $4.86!!!!
Like $2.00 each !!!Lucky me!

On the way back to the car, I stopped at Books A Million where they were giving free refreshments to teachers. But...
NO COOKIES FOR ME!
They said Community Education teachers didn't count!

Anyway off to Target to get Tide, Pool Chlorine and Tuna fish.

A Very satisfactory day at the Mall!

I started a new mosaic shoe project.
Actually I started it last week because it takes 8 coats of Kilz to prime a shoe!
But now that that's done, I'm picking a color palette!

Here's a previous shoe for inspiration:


Also started another birdhouse!

This panel is called “The Bishop” It was just a fun, summer, putz-along project.

What the photo doesn’t show clearly is that the brown “columns” are raised. I attached trim molding to the hardibacker before I applied the mosaic. It’s more interesting in person, I guess.

The real problem with this piece was that I started from the outside and worked towards the center. I lost valuable composition area to andemento space. In other words, I had to make the Bishop thinner than I originally planned.

I don’t usually work flat. I really prefer sculptural work…so I’m going for another huge strawberry pot…or something!!!

Wouldn’t a large seashell mosaic wreath look great on the back of the fireplace?

Just as I was clicking “save” I remembered Bishop James Pike.
Back in the 60’s he was some “Hip” new age Episcopal bishop. He wrote a book called “Are You Running with me Jesus?” about his “buddy God”. After holding séances to contact his dead son in “the Beyond”, Bishop Pike jogged off into the Isreali desert one day and was never heard of again. (Yay!)

Plant Daddy has been a house-a-fire this weekend. He has planted plants and autoed autos...The Z Boys got Al's car up and running as well as getting Plant Daddy's Orange 280 back on the roll!

Additionally Plant Daddy planted 2 Crepe Myrtles and 2 Lantanas!

That left me to plant 2 Passion Vines, 2 Antigone vines and 2 Ruellias! After that I went to the Mall and bought Plant Daddy some new shirts.

Little Mind Escape dropped by before heading out to the Beach.

And that's about it. Back to the grind tomorrow.

Q. "How do I keep my grout fresh?"
A. Use a sealer. No mosaic project is finished till you apply a sealer.

Q. "How do I make a mosaic shoe?"
A. Are you prepared to devote 65 hours of mosaic effort to this?

Q. "I will be visiting Florida in October and desire to take the mosaics class. Please email me your bank account number so I can pay you the enrollment fee by wire transfer."
A. Mom wasn't born yesterday. My Delete key works really well.

Q. "How do you make a mosaic Christmas tree?"
A. How big do you want it?