Mosaic Mom

You know you're having a bad day when ...

The Post Office delivers the rare book you ordered in a postal body bag...because they've somehow soaked it in OIL!!!


Thank God the book seller had done an inner wrapping!


Then it gets worse when your pool service company tries to hustle you...

Phone rings:

Hello, this is Mom.

Hi, this is Billy Chlorine. I’m supposed to service your pool tomorrow, but can I come right now?

Well, Billy, I don’t have any checks to pay you. I have to pick them up at the bank this afternoon. I wrote the last one for the internet bill then realized I had no more. If I can send you a check in the mail for the service, then you can come today.

Ok, Mom, but listen…you need to replace that old filter. Then you wouldn’t have to have it serviced.

Oh? How much is the new filter?

I have a new model 4300 right here. It’s $320.

That ain’t happening, Billy. I ain’t got $320 for a pool filter.

Well, OK. Mom. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.



Billy arrives …

Hello, Billy. Nice to see you again. But I want to be sure that I understand this. If I don’t buy this new pool filter, you’ll still service the old one. Right? No problems, right?

Oh, yes Ma’am…Hey, Mom, who installed this Chinese pump?

You did, Billy, and it doesn’t pump worth a toot. The pool water barely flows.

I put this in?

Yes, Billy. I still have the ticket. See here? The first week of January you installed it. $386.22.

I don’t remember putting this in.

Yes, we had a Max-Flow. Now we have one that’s not as good. I’m hoping the filter cleaning will solve the problem or I’ll have to get a Max Flow.

May I please have a glass of ice water, Mom?

Yes, I’ll be right back.


While Mom is fetching a Coke-a-cola, Billy appears.

Mom, I took your filter apart, but I forgot my pressure nozzle. I have to leave and go get it.

No, Billy, I have one you can use.

Grrrrrr, thinks Billy.



Mom departs again and Billy returns 15 minutes later.


Mom, come see this. Your old filter has sprung a leak.

Gee, Billy, it wasn’t leaking before you came today.

I told you to get a new one, Mom.

And I specifically asked you if there was going to be a “problem” before you started, Billy.

Well, Mom, I can make a service call and fix this.

No, Billy, you and your company are fired. Good bye.

I got it done!

Go see my post at Colgate's site!

I am going to try to enter a national writing contest this morning...if my crappy internet connection holds...if I can get in on a site that will have a lot of traffic...anyway, a national contest and what topic do I pick to write about?

The picture gives a clue!!!

“Old Folks at Home” is out!

Despite that the state population is up 38% in the last 5 years because everybody in the world RETIRES here, yet the powers that be in Tallahassee want a new state song.

So, here is one I wrote.
(To the tune of Way Down Upon the Swannee River)

Way down upon my old Bulldozer,
Burn up that tree!
Dredge out the lake and build a highway.
Cheers for the SUV!
All the state’s a shopping center.
We can build more, too.
Get rid of wildlife.
Kill that tortoise!
Pavement is good for you!


Further, I think the state motto should be, “No Acre Left Unpaved”
Grrrrrrr.

You know how, when you get a new toy,
you want to play with it over and over again?

You really enjoy using it to the max because it’s new and exciting?

Well, that works really good except when your new toy is a
Brita Water Filter pitcher.

Do you know what happens when you drink 2 gallons of water in a single afternoon?

I will tell you in a minute…um, I have to step out…again…um, excuse me.

Our neighbor is a rancher therefore lots of cows parade along on the other side of the fence night and day.

A mere 5 thin strands of barbed wire separate us from 2 ton bulls and 1 ton cows.

Mostly when we approach the boundary, said bulls and cows flee; the cowboys have them trained that way.

This evening we motored the golf cart back to the south fence line to enjoy the view.
For lack of anything better to do, we began to greet our bovine friends in their native language.

I, Mosaic Mom, was no good at it. The cows heard my chortles and fled.

But when Plant Daddy gave it a go, they approached!

“Moooo!” he’d coo and they’d tip-toe nearer, stepping gingerly across the pasture.

“A-moo-moo-moo!” he chanted, and forward they came. This was a first time event in 30 years of pastoral life together.


“Moo-ditty-Moo!” sang Plant Daddy It was a miracle. It was delightful.

Oh hell! It was a huge Bull with an “INTREST” dangling along on them blades of grass for all the world to see!

“Hit the gas!” shouted Plant Daddy.

And so we did!

I have to run the loop of life today.

1. To the Accountants office for taxes.(paperwork)

2. To the bank for taxes.(deposits)

3. To the Post Office for taxes.(certified mailing)

4. To the grocery store (chicken wings to grill in celebration of finishing 1, 2, and 3)

Eventually I have to take the cat to the vet for rabies shots, but not today. I have enough ordeal already!

Sounds like a rock and roll song, n'est pas?

I am glad my Mom had a Happy Birthday, even tho she didn't get a tatoo!

I have a short story cooking that is turning out just the way I'd hoped. Yay!

My Oscar Bluemner Essay is underway. It's not what I want it to be yet, but easier to edit than compose, so I've started writing at least.

Still waiting for the accountant to call with the tax report! Wish he'd hurry up! Grrr. I know we owe, but I want to look at the train wreck!

Zeus is good. He gets fed dry Friskies. The only fresh meat he gets is what he can catch...mice, birds and lizards. Not affected by the pet food recall.

Here’s my three dolls.

Is it always true when you make dolls that the dolls are really mini-me’s?

There’s Elizabeth….who moves gracefully and keeps secrets…

There’s Mosaic Mom…very conservative and straightlaced…except for the wild hair…

There’s Calypso…who wants to dance and party…and has long blond hair




Buyer Beware!
Yesterday I went to the Lake Square Mall. I walked past Rec Warehouse on my way to Penney’s to hunt Plant Daddy a new jacket.

Stationed out front of Recreational Warehouse were units that looked like the pool heaters I have been trying to find for years.

Also stationed out front were 2 “salesmen”.

Neither spoke to me as I approached.

Neither spoke to me as I picked up and read the pamphlet which told me these were chlorinators not heaters.

Neither spoke to me as I left. What idiots!

On my way back from Penney’s (not successful in the jacket search BTW) I passed Rec Warehouse again. The manager had joined the 2 “salesmen” and they were discussing a customer’s account…right there in the middle of the mall! Avoid this company! Yikes!

Happy Birthday, Mommy!

Hope you feel like dancing today!

This is the newest mosaic doll. She is dancing the Calypso!

To satisfy one of my "goals" for the year, I trucked over to the Mt Dora Library a few days ago.

I wanted to check out the formatting for their writing contest entries.

To my surprize, they had no print copies on hand...their "publication" of the winners is e publication.

The head librarian printed the winning stories for me, but they were not formatted as they would have been entered.

Thank God for one of the ladies at the Palm Group. She had been the winner in the Children's Story category last year. She explained the format shifts to me. That was very nice of her.

She drives a motorcycle. She is my role model actually, but I digress.

Another goal of mine was to work mosaics a little more effectively.

So today I will finish "Calypso" another doll in time for the Art in the Garden Show. Maybe I'll have photos by this afternoon.

I also sent a photo of my mosaics to a national company to see if they were interested in using them for advertising. That'd be great!

Fatal crash in front of our place today.
Speed Kills.





As best as I can tell somebody was in a hurry trying to pass. I was at Publix while this occurred. Saw the 2 med helicopters leaving. Reports from a sand truck driver who got stuck turning around once the road was closed.

Today I sat in the sun in the lounge chair and read Thoreau. I didn't get much out of Walden Pond, but A Week on the Concord and Merrimack River is better...as Thoreau goes.

So I'm trying to connect Modernist Art thought to Thoreau's Transcendentalisn and all I can think of is it's not Futurism. At least I can see that. But what does it mean?

Well, the squirrels are trying to move in to the back yard by the outhouse so I had to spend some time forgetting Thoreau and shooting squirrels with BB's. That was very satisfying.

I read Thoreau says he and his brother shot a squirrel and dressed it out but couldn't bring themselves to eat it. Like being a vegetarian was more pure, he says.

I ate squirrel once. When I lived on the hippie commune in Alabama. The boys ran over it while driving to the beer store, so they brought it home, dressed it out and we ate it. We were neither Transcendentalists nor vegetarians. Just hungry and tired of plain brown rice.

Squirrels and Thoreau.

In the past 24 hours...

Little Mind Escape and the Furniture Man came over last night for dinner. We had fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cabbage, salad and strawbwerry shortcake. Yum!

Big Al came over this morning and worked on his Z car all day.

Suzy and Corvette Man came over about 3PM in a snazzy blue 67 Corvette convertible. Corvette man is nice, but my mosaic Christmas tree didn't impress him.


Grad Student Boy came over after dinner and worked on his seminar for his final oral exams on Wednesday.

It's been really busy around here!

Anyway, tomorrow I have to truck on over to the Post Office and I hope the tax man calls and not only says that our package is ready, I hope he says we get a refund!

I feel achy.
The car wreck makes my neck and shoulders scream.

Allergies are making my nose pound.
My eyes are on fire and my throat burns.

The weather is so very dry that the pollen has the advantage. Grrr. I went outside this morning to view antique airplanes buzzing overhead towards a festival down in Clermont. I started sneezing...and sneezing and sneezing. Now I can't breathe. Grrr.

No mosaics today since they are outside. I'll stay inside and write.

On my way to Palm Writers Group tonight, I got rear ended.

I'm OK.

Car's OK except for all the white Taurus paint all over the bumper.

I really appreciate the lady in my group who gave me an advil. Thanks!

I'm just sad because I know I will ache for weeks.

Of course, that gives me grist for the mill, so OK.

Yay!
Little Mind Escape saved me yesterday.

I could not make the tiff file convert to a jpeg file until she gave me the pathway.
“Do it in Photoshop not Powerpoint,” she commanded.

She is a real take charge woman.
She made those files obey!

Reminds me of the time I was an Adult Literacy Tutor and my student gave me geese as a thank you gift. He said they would eat weeds and insects and keep the nursery clean.

The geese were a terror.

They attacked my nursery manager; she threatened to quit.
They pinched customers’ legs. They pooped and pooped and pooped till the aisles got slick. They escaped out the driveway and nearly caused a car wreck.

We could not control these demons…

Except for little 5 year old M.E.

She stood about the same height as the geese, but she had speed. She grabbed a stick and whopped the gander upside the head.

After that the flock loved her. They obeyed her. When she went out the door, they fluttered about her to worship.

She beat them regularly and all was well.

And she still keeps us all in line.

Thanks for the help, M. E.

P.S. I finally made the student take those unholy birds back…except for the one we ate!

I am finished teaching for the term and now can focus on creating items for the Art in the Garden Show for April 7th. I hope everybody will come enjoy the art and the Discovery Gardens.

Last night I had the last Novel Writing class. I managed to get the last assignment done at 2PM for the 6PM class. The instructor was nice and let the class read and critique it on the spot.

What was great IMHO was that I could recognize the mistakes in it. Like a change of point of view character in the middle of the action. Wow! But now I can self-correct. That's awesome.

Today I am working more on a paper about net photosynthesis rates. Not too exciting, but keeps my science current.

Tonight was the last night for Garden Mosaics Class.

Time to grout the rocks. Everybody's turned out great! Perfect accents for the garden, n'est pas?

When Plant Daddy and I remodeled the office, we (I) miscalculated.

We (I) were left with 2 base cabinets left over.

We (he) did not want to tote them back to Lowe's.

So we (I) decided to use them to replace my wobble table that held the wet saw.

It looks great!

I painted it with some "Whoops" paint I got at Lowe's for $5.00. and I love the height being up a few inches. Better line of sight. Can't wait to get it put back together and create some new mosaics!

I started another mosaic doll this week. What really feels good is it's coming out exactly as I saw it in my head! Well, maybe even a little better!

OMG! There's a new "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie about to come out. Little Mind Escape has now lived long enough to watch her childhood recycle! Tee Hee!

One of the ladies in my Monday night mosaics class is really heads up.

She's on it!

Only 302 days left till Christmas and she's already making gifts!

Here's her Christmas gift mosaic flower pot.

There goes Zeus. Off to the store to start his Christmas shopping. Only 302 days left!